Dear Expectations

Dear Expectations,

 

Why’d you let me down?

I gave you my heart

I gave you my hopes

I gave you my dreams

And you just gave them right back

Without them seeing the light of reality

You slammed the door in my face

As an unwanted guest

And didn’t even care

 

I walk right next to you

Laughing with every step

As time stands and stares

We laugh

We cry

And we share this journey

But it soon passes by,

A future that never came to be

 

Will I dream again?

Hope again?

Live again?

 

I leave behind scars which marked the way

Dreams which never came to be

Stare right back at me

I hope for a better past

Yet know it will never come to pass

I wish I was sad to see you go,

But I must I admit

You weren’t what I had hoped

And that is the saddest part of all

 

I shall say goodbye

I lay to rest my “right”

To the life of my expectations

And embrace the life

Of all that may come

Dear Tomorrow

Dear Tomorrow,

I am scared of the morning sun

I am scared of the answers you will bring

And the reality that may very well come

My stomach clenches at the very thought of you

Why can’t you stay where you belong?

Why do you try to ruin this very moment?

Why have I allowed you to break through the boundary,

That today is not your day?

You didn’t just ruin your own day

You took today with you

No more!

In fact,

Today is calling me

I will see

And deal with you,

Tomorrow.

Dear the Past that I Can’t Let Go Of

Dear the Past that I Can’t Let Go Of,

 

Why do you stick around?

I thought you’d gone

You wake me up at night

And won’t get out of my mind

I replay you over and over again

To see how the story plays out

Different than what I am living with

 

Yet no matter what I do

I can’t fix you

I can’t change you

I can’t let go of you

Because…

I can’t live with the story that came to be

I can’t look at myself

Or this regret

Yet I know it’s there

To give you up

Would be to give up these hopes

These dreams I held dearly

This future that will never come to be

 

Time to turn and face the music

To look at reality

And not this fantasy

I have held hostage

 

It’s time to let you go

And the dream that one day I will fix you

It’s time to let you go

And the chains you’ve bound me in

It’s time to let you go

 

For the past does not hold the keys to healing

Up ahead lies the beauty I cannot see

Grace and forgiveness,

Which I have neglected far too long

I now lean into the Potter’s hands

Where the past will find its hope

Its redemption,

Repurposed clay

Ready for the kiln

 

So, this is goodbye

And not a see you later

Dear Today

Dear Today,

 

I don’t know you very well

I don’t know what you may hold

I spent so much time with your siblings,

A time long ago

And a time that will never be,

But I have failed to give you the time of day

I didn’t take the time to enjoy your beauty

Or your charm

I must admit,

I am slightly scared

As I journey this new territory

 

The stage is yours

Knock my socks off