Just Floating Along – FFG Part 1

Just Floating Along

Sailing along the ocean with no one around
Where screams find no destination
And death at the hands of an empty vessel

Horizon after horizon are scanned
For life which may be out there
Year after year the desire is there
Hoping to catch a break
And see a fellow being
And know they exist
Somewhere out there
Though only ripples are found
With each new wave
When they are found
He’ll know he belongs
Or does he just belong to sail along?

Off in the distance land is found
Inhabited by life
Which call to him

Though only a moment later, the voices call no more
They pass on by for another man
Who just floated by

Making his way through this life alone
Hearing just his voice
And from his head he’s told why he belongs to be alone
Told where his value lies
Absent to the soul whose alone
He believes the lies which are before him

He floats along the ocean waves
Absent of souls
Absent of joy and hope

Stillness wakens his soul one day
A feeling which he forgot about
Sand graces his toes
He’s found land and safety too

A voice calls him
From somewhere around
“I haven’t passed you by
I noticed every move
And every word
I haven’t passed you by”

These words echo all around
Words which haven’t been spoken before
Value long desired
Someone knows he exists
And hears his small quite voice

He stumbles along this sandy shore
Not sure which way he should go
His eyes open to blue,
The blue of the eyes which light so bright
He’s been found by a man
Whom he does not know
“Come follow me,
I will never leave you,
You will never be alone
And I will always listen.”

He follows this man to his home
Where he taken on as one of his own
Here he finds hope to continue on
Hope of a brighter tomorrow
Or will he just continue to sail along
With no one around?

But not too long later he walks out the door
Off to see what’s beyond
And to venture out into the great unknown

Alone – FFG Part 2

Alone

Looking around he sees the joy of the many
But why can’t he feel this same joy?
Why must he be burdened by the cares of this world?

He walks along the streets
Glancing at the joy in others
The joy in the eyes of so many
Who share in an exchange of words,
Of the thoughts that grace their minds
No one is alone,
Each with their own place
This fleeting feeling escapes this man
He does not know his way around,
Who is friend and who is foe
He is a foreigner to the new people

The desire to know where he came from,
Where he’s going,
What he likes,
And what he dreams of becoming,
Is just lost,
Fading to the back,
Where the silver falls
All these thoughts are the background to their joyous conversations
A window to look straight through
To see the better world outside
To see the world of excitement somewhere he is not

Why must he be burdened by the cares of this world?
To belong
To fit in
To be known
All these cares do is cripple the seed of joy
They say that joy cannot exist without them
As if they create joy

“Where are you?”
He cries out
“You said you would never leave me
And that I would never be alone
Where are you?
Why have you abandoned now?”

A voice breaks from within the crowd,
“What’s your name sir?”
“I don’t know my name
I was never given one”
He calls back
“I shall call you Mónos then
It’s a lovely name”
“What does it mean?”
He questions
“Oh, continue on down the path over there and you shall see
It will take you where you want to go”

So Mónos packs his things
And ventures on
Down the twisty path
He looks to his right, no one there
He looks to his left, no one there
“Alright then, I’m all alone
Heading into this great unknown.”

The Small Quiet Voice – FFG Part 3

The Small Quiet Voice

The sky becomes grey
Its neither night nor day
Sadness creeps in over joy
Sadness of this man who longs to belong
To feel as though he was a part of something

This quiet boy longs to be heard,
To be heard over the roar of the oceans around
To feel as though his words matter
Instead of crashing against the tall waves on each side
The knowledge he has
The joy he brings
The person he can be
Are just squashed by the person he fails to be

The booming sounds of the drums satisfy
While the melodic tune of the harp fails
This reserved man crumbles
Crumbling in the shadows of others,
Of those who seek the eyes of many,
And the mouths of the mute

His calmness is overlooked
For the confidence and flashiness of others
To ask for the eyes of others is of no help,
Just a mask for the hurt
That it took so long to be noticed

He fears the words he says
Fearing they are insufficient,
Or what comes out is not what was within,
Being misunderstood for something he is not
He fears the words he doesn’t say
As if these words would have swayed human hearts and minds

Fear plants the seeds,
Seeds of lies
Lies we must be heard
To find worth, value, and hope

He clings to truth, hope, and joy
Which he has known
Which he was told back on the beach
How he would never be left,
And would always be heard

The Prisoner – FFG Part 4

The Prisoner

The path continues on
Twisting and turning
Straight to a house
He peaks his head on in
To see what’s inside

But hardly a moment later
He finds himself caged
With bars all around

Here the prisoner is the prison guard

He locks himself in with the keys in his hand,
The cell becomes home for this prison man
Whose head becomes burdened
By the heart of the guard,
While his heart yearns to break free,
Free from the lies,
The lies of the guard who locks the door each night

The cycle never ends
Whether day or night
The prison man gets a taste of the light
Which shines so bright
Just outside of his cell
Each day he breaths in the freshness of air,
He catches the smell of freedom out there
Which pierces his soul
Now he has hope
To make it once more

But just as he feels that breeze in his nose
Just as the sun peaks over the ridge
His joy is snatched as he fits in the cell
Into the dark cell once more

The cycle continues
Each day and each night
The hope of the day fades to the fear of the night

The Mind’s Cage – FFG Part 5

The Mind’s Cage

Peace at sea, but a storm rages within
For which only he knows
He does not know how to have rest in the midst of this,
He does not know where peace hides
He does not feel the bustling happiness going around
He cannot catch this overflowing wave

He hates his mind,
He hates the trails it catches,
The scent it smells,
The language it reads,
The visions it sees,
How elementary it seems
But this is not a game
No, it’s a betrayal of the mind,
And torturing of the heart

Is something wrong with this man?
He does not know what to do,
For the choices to be made all seem to be wrong
He searches for the right way,
Only to find more and more wrong
So what should he do?

How do you conquer the things of life,
When you seem to go where you do not want?
No man, no women, can understand the thoughts of this man
He just sits to himself
With his thoughts crashing ‘round
Around in a circle
There is no hope, just fear
Fear of failure
Of failing in every way
Failing to deal with life
Failing to do it in the right way
It’s crippling
It has a lock on his heart and on his thoughts

Where is the Man who said he would not leave?
Who said he could set the captives free?
Right now it is just a party of two,
Mónos and his thoughts

Disguised as Butterflies – FFG Part 6

Disguised as Butterflies

The fear of what the ‘morrow may bring,
Of what can’t be tamed
The knot inside turns so tight
By the butterflies within,
Not butterflies of beauty,
But those of deception
They flutter and flee around without a care
For the master they terror

Can he break free from these holds so tight?
Will his heart return above
Where it once sat satisfied?
Instead it chased after those deceiving butterflies down below
Where nails grow small
Hair grows short
All by the churning within
The storm of sea crashes,
To the right,
To the left,
Throwing all else around

Oh the sinking feeling
Of falling from above
Of realizing that which he feared

Will these butterflies find rest?
Will they find their meadow,
Full of brightness,
Of flowers as they’re meant to be?
Or will they continue to seek after the deception of the soul
The cunning deception of the mind?
There is no end to their fluttering
For there is no refuge in this deceit
Just a façade for a brighter tomorrow

The Colorful Robe – FFG Part 7

The Colorful Robe

The prize of the winner
So desired
Gold around the neck
Not felt, but seen
Looking so good on another

It wrecks the soul within
The desire to feel it as well
Burns all that is well
For what he does not have,
Is more than what he does

His plate is full
Jewels and diamonds abound
Fading to the back for the one not there
For the one gone missing

His joy is stripped
A joy he so desires,
But one so elusive

Who he is not,
Haunts him
Where he is not,
Taunts him
What he does not have,
Torments him
Who he desires to be,
Runs from him

The delicacy he’s been given
Turned down for the plate next door

When will his own life fill him up?
When will his life be the gift it is?

Pain’s Desire – FFG Part 8

Pain’s Desire

Pain desires company,
Not company to feel the same agony,
But to be heard,
To know it is not walking this journey alone
To know its cries are heard,
Its wounds felt,
And its paths seen.
This comfort can help bring hope,
Hope of shattered glass being made whole again

Yet we abandon those who hurt the most,
Those who look just fine,
But are bleeding to death on the inside

We fail to inquire how a soul may be doing
We hide from the stain of their bleeding heart,
And the gunk we may find
We don’t want to have to help stabilize the load

So, we remain comfortable,
Looking right past a hurting world
And in doing so we lock up Hope in a box,
The only Hope that matters,
This is the only Hope that can turn those shatters into a whole.
The only Hope which can drag this man out
From the darkness he’s in

The Sun’s Shadow – FFG Part 9

The Sun’s Shadow

He does not feel anymore
The highs are no more
The lows remain
The pit has become home,
Every climb and every leap
Just find him falling back down
Don’t come near, for the blackness closes in
There’s no heart to talk to
Just a bunch of pieces
From which there used to be a life

The sun seems to not show
For fear of his face
And the moon only hides
Everyone has hidden their faces from this man
Hidden it from all the failure
From all the darkness
From all that he is not
He does not know what causes men to flee

So he hides his face,
For you don’t want to see what there is
Just a big imperfection
A failure
A failure to be like everyone else
He cries out, “God, hide your face from me
For I don’t seem to measure up
I’m just a failure
A blemish to everyone else’s white”

“Why must I continue to walk through this pain,
Through this fire
My own personal hell
Am I not broken enough?
Am I not moldable?
Can enough just be enough”

Revelations from the Deep – FFG Part 10

Revelations from the Deep

Mónos reaches the bottom of the stream
Hands in tatters,
From the pits he’s tried to climb from
Feet swollen,
From the race he has run
Eyes puffy,
Puffy from within,
Arms weak,
From what he’s carried
Back broken,
From his burdens
Head hanging,
In fear of what more lies ahead
To walk some more will just add pain

He cries out,

Lord, I’ve tried so hard
Please pull me out of this dark pit,
From this all-consuming blackness
Please be my strength and my refuge
I’ve fought this fight
Fought the demons all around
Been chained in the arena with these emotions,
Which couldn’t be beat
Sought to find the straight path,
Only to get pushed off
I’ve walked alone,
Trying to see you next to me
But you weren’t there
I’ve felt empty
And you didn’t fill me up
I’ve felt worthless,
Yet you didn’t come to my aid
My emotions betrayed me,
And you didn’t stabilize,
Why can’t I seem to see you in the clouds?
Why does it take sun to see your face?

I want to believe in your presence
But my faith
Seems to drown in the sea of my doubt

Lord, take my doubt so far
Cast it into the depths where it belongs
Lock it in its cage,
To never come out

I want to be content with your presence
Forsaking all else
To find my value in your love
To find my hope in you

Grow my faith like a little seed
Let it sprout just a little more
Soften me to the presence of your hands
So you can shape me
Trim me if you must, for I am ready
Dig up the gunk inside,
And cleanse me clean
Here are my keys
My soul is yours,
To search, to find, and do with as you please
For I am yours,
Please be mine